These pages contain information about violence in homes and violence between relationships.  Credit is given to the creators of the lists and statements.  If you are a female who is dating--at any age--you need to look at Facts on Date Violence.  If you, or a loved one has suffered at the hands of a violent husband or father, look at the Cycle of Violence and grasp an understanding of when the best moment to make and escape exists.  There is a list of Batterer Characteristics, a discussion of Why She Stays? and other pages you might want to download and use as checklists or information handouts to friends. 

Some of my students have exercised secrecy and stealth to help neighbors, friends and relatives escape.  They have pushed a guide through mail slots when they knew the abused was home and would be able to read it secretly.  The students have dropped information sheets into shopping carts at grocery stores and walked away quickly.  They have read characteristics over the telephone and muttered them over a back fence.  They had to do these things in this way because the abusive husband or boyfriend can, and will, beat the tar out of his wife or finance if he perceives the slightest crack in his control over that female.  You must be careful.  You must be like one of the security forces that protects a very vulnerable nation.  You must accept their motto as yours: "By way of deception, thou shalt make war."  Be warned.  The violent can turn their attention toward those who are trying to help someone.  But be bold.  If a violent person threatens you obtain a Victim Protection Order (yes, I will tell you how to do it but I will warn you that they do not stop a bullet).  If he touches your body in anger call the police immediately, continuously and with the expectation that they will protect you and a judge will sentence the criminal to jail.  Good luck.

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