1.
|
Jealousy - "I love you so
much, I can't stand you looking
at another person." |
2.
|
Home Life - He witnessed
violence as a child and will tell you about
it if you will listen.
Often, our problem is
this: We are not THINKING about what a
person is telling us about themselves. We are caught
up in making sure the other person knows about us, hears
us, receives from us....and we lose because we failed to learn about
them. |
3.
|
Hates mother: Listen to
his words about his mother before marriage. He will
state that he has no respect for her. |
4.
|
Quick Temper: Low impulse
control. Watch him. He
will
show it to you. |
5.
|
Substance Abuse: "I
wouldn't have done it but I was drunk."
What a whining, spoiled,
violent brat. This guy
would use any excuse to get you to forgive him and let him
hurt you again! |
6.
|
Rigid Role Expectations:
women only fit one role. Dependent, Submissive and Compliant. |
7.
|
Controlling: He rules the
relationship. The other persons
point of view if never important and usually insulted
publicly. (Young adult: THINK when you listen.) He
will never change and that is a fact you can
take to the bank. |
8.
|
Dictatorial: Wants
absolute control. All of the
time.
Over the smallest things. |
9.
|
Displaced Aggression:
Finds fault with things that are not related
to the problem at hand.
Will always blame the
car for running out of gas. Will always blame the fire
for burning the meat. Will always blame you for
being fired or being without...something he wanted. |
10.
|
Hitting Walls: throwing
objects, name calling.
Temper
tantrums are indicators of immaturity and an inability to
grow up at the same time he is growing older. Don't mess with
it. |
11.
|
Jekyll-Hyde Personality:
Observed, extreme mood swings.
He is
the "perfect man" around a church or work place. But
when he gets home, he is a beast who batters the weakest people in the
family. That is, until they become
strong. But, by then, the children are warped
and will act like him, or like you if you submit to such
behavior. |
12.
|
Low Self Esteem: poor self
image, putting others down, makes him
feel good about himself.
Again, it is foolish for
the battered person to feel that she
should help the batterer with his self esteem.
It is not her fault. The only problem she has is in
escaping. |
